18th birthday - Checkered Fruit Cake

It's so great to be able to make your own birthday cake and to be able to make 2 of them is simply awesome! Since there would be no point baking a cake that can be bought in stores, I decided to go checkered. So for all who's wondering, this is the "naked" cake, cut into circles and swopped around.

And with a bit of whipped cream, mango slices, kiwi slices and a strawberry, I surprised even myself! Though the mangoes did give me some problems...

The very pretty slices of cake.

Initially, this blog was meant only to record my baking journey, to remember my progress. But now, I've come to realise that for everything I bake/cook, I'm telling a story. Fionainthekitchen is a story of my life. And with this cake, another chapter begins, for a few days before turning 18, something happened and I'll tell this story like how a story goes:

It was a flash of yellow and blue, snapping her head back and knocking the breath out of her. The ball bounced away; innocent, as she tried to gasp away the tears and blink away the sting in her eyes.

Save the lenses. Without them, she's almost blind. But when the lenses are back in, something's not quite right. The left eye, it's misty. As if on a hazy morning, she sees a fog. She blinks, once, twice, desperately. Then she remembered.

4 years back, she was told her high myopia came with side effects - her retina was thin. It could happen now, tomorrow, in years to come or never. But whenever, her retina may tear and she might have to live in darkness. It didn't seem real then, in fact it was such an unimaginable possibility, until now.

She can't see properly. She waited for the fear to come, she knew it was coming. That kind of fear that would seize and paralyse you. That kind of fear that would bring on the tears, tears that she havent had for quite some time.

She was so afraid, terrified, petrified. In the hospital, she thought about worst case scenarios. She wondered if she was going blind, it felt so real. To lose your vision, it meant losing everything that mattered, it meant losing your life. She would never play volleyball again, never bake again, never study again, never have a family... She can't stop the tears, it was impossible to even try.

As she waited, she thought about things unsaid, things undone. She thought about love, about friends, family and life. And she realised that she's not that strong, without her vision, she cannot find the courage to continue living. She knows, she's selfish.

Now, she's turning 18, but it feels like she's turning 38. She stares at the candle; its flame holding promises, and she's thankful for her eyes.

For once, let this wish comes true. She'll give anything to make everyone that matters never leave her again. Because she doesn't know when she might never get the chance to see them anymore. For once, this wish has to come true.

The flame disappears in a puff of hope.


bro said...

nice cake! proud of u =) and ya its funny how certain events can make people see things in a different perspective.

Justine said...

can't believe i only read this now! :( great post love you fiona!