23rd birthday

I'll keep it simple this time.

"What kind of cake do you want for your 23rd birthday?"
"I don't like cakes..."

But I insist. So I tried a durian cake.



It didn't work out well. I added too much of the durian paste accidentally and the whole thing was too... convoluted. To say the truth, terribly disappointing. It kept me up awake through the night, as I thought of another one.

Then I realised nothing will come to my mind, because I had other thoughts, feelings that were a little consuming the heart.

Simple, warm, love. Nothing could work more than a chocolate cake. Just a chocolate cake, nothing fancy nothing complicated.

I made the chocolate decorations by melting the chocolate and writing it with a piping bag on some plastic wrap before freezing it again.

Happy birthday my dear brother, thank you for being my best friend and my protective brother. I know that no matter what I bake, you'll still eat it and tell me it's good. I know that you'll never stay angry at me no matter what I do. I know that you'll always make an effort to spend some time with me no matter how busy you are. I know you're always there.

But now, I worry for you. It's why, for the first time, I had no inspiration. Without a clear mind and a light heart, I can't bake, it's terrifying.

I wish things were simple and easy, like the cake. When it's time to let go, and there is no other choice but to let go, can we really do it, or do we simply pretend that we've forgotten? If it hurts so much to love, why do some still love so uncontrollably, pretending that tomorrow will never arrive?

and you say, "happiness is a state of mind." Remember that darling, and remember that some kind of love is forever.

Beautiful Mistake

I don't know what to call this cake. So for the first time, I'm giving a name to a cake - Beautiful Mistake. Sounds unbelievably cliche, I know, but that's exactly what this cake is.



The initial intention was not to make this. In fact, I wasn't intending to make anything at 10pm after my GP common test and Nando's Extra Hot Peri Chicken which was quite metabolic. (Meat for the first time in months, I'm quite proud of myself!) But then our welfare rep was fretting over a birthday cake to mark the last day of term and our customary birthday month celebrations. So, like Siying said:
"When Fiona sets her mind, don't waste your saliva trying to persuade her otherwise. Just save it for tomorrow."

But the initial idea was a Savarin cake, inspired by the article on French food in Sunday Times. The French's passion for food and life is very alluring, it's a community I would like to be part of. Forget US or UK, if I could, I'll fly to Paris. The chef said, "Once this guy I was dating said, 'Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to bother with all this eating and you could just take a pill?' I think we broke up after that night." And that's life!

Ok, so I screwed up Savarin really bad, so at 3am, I was at a loss. Like I said, the only thing fionainthekitchen breaks is eggs. So feeling despondent, I said in a phone conversation, (some people just don't sleep),
"I'm just a girl... I'm not the god of baking."
"In Initial D, the guy said' 神也是人，只是神做到人做不到的事，所以才叫神。' You can bake, I can't, so to me, you are the god of baking."

Amazingly, I think I work really well under stress. I wanted a green tea souffle roll, but I forgot the green tea powder, so after panicking for about 0.17683862 seconds, I melted some chocolate and incorporated it into the mixture. In half an hour, my cake was born. Added chocolate chips to the whipped cream and rolled the cake. And the artistic talent I always secretly thought I had, (even though I can't draw to save my life, or even colour for that matter), saved my reputation. Hohoho, at 5am, fiona left the kitchen for bed. And woke up late for school.



But you see my dears, this is what I live for.

At SWAMI, I've been inspired in more ways that I could count. I listen to the stories of the abandoned, people who loved, but whom love forgot. The social worker there told me,

"Until you find something that makes you want to wake up every morning, you'll never be truly happy."

Live to remember, remember to live.

Orange chiffon cake

Job well done! Chiffon cake took me so long to learn how to make. Simply because if you can't get the technique of folding right, say goodbye to the beautiful spongelike springy texture. The smell of the orange, especially when it is in the oven, is literally breathtaking...

The story behind the chiffon cake is one of friendship and a hell lot of perseverance. In short, I promised my friend I'll bake her a pandan chiffon cake, because it was one of the few food that she eats, on the rare times that she does eat. So I tried a grand total of 5 times, before finally succeeding into a reasonably acceptable one. All in one sitting.

That is how I can now make a decent tasty chiffon cake 2 years on. As Thomas Edison puts it,

"I've not failed, I've succeeded in finding out 100 different ways in which it will not work."

something very exciting might be happening. i might be given a chance to bake for the old folks at the SWAMI home. if that does happen, i think i finally found a purpose. it would make me veryveryvery happy...

Fried Mee Tai Mak

Baby, I'm on a roll.

Fried Beehoon

I had a sudden urge to do this and the first attempt screwed up really bad. Which made the success of the second attempt so much sweeter!



I just dumped in chye xin, fishball, carrot(shredded), clams and fried omellete (cooked separately). This dish looks simple, but before adding in the beehoon, the right amount of water must be present in the wok. I didn't get that as well as I could, so my beehoon turned out a little too dry. But I would take dry over wet anytime, as my first attempt went. Mum said "long" ingredients should be used, to go with noodles and if rice, then ingredients that can be spooned should be used. Makes sense.

Finally, some canned meat would add a whole load of taste to fried beehoon. But I've decided to give up meat altogether now, so yes, fiona is now a pescetarian, i.e. pesco-vegetarian.

I wish the headaches would stop, does anyone know how to make them stop? It's been ongoing for about a week, I'm almost going insane. Even frying beehoon is not helping!